silence so golden-ly sweet

May 24, 2017

I must be in a decently centered footed emotionally stable place as I can be slightly amused and slightly perturbed at the same time…

at all the yappin “!   Holy Moly these people can prattle on.

Vicissitudes asking for some Franciscans:

Seeking the soft breath of not having to defend myself, I can access the core of that place of Faith in me that all will be provided, and my description of my (always way-too-underinformed) opinion can feather off in the breeze. No matter, no weight, no gravity, and certainly no permanence or capital-T Truth to it.  Off fluttering in the winds of change with you, oh gentle perspective !

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-==-=-=-=-=-=-=-==-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-====  (that was a fun ten-seconds of alternate finger-ing ~~ wish there’d been a keyboard under me 🙂      Back to our regularly-evolving programming:

Who is wise?
He that learns from everyone.
Who is powerful?
He that governs his passions.
Who is rich?
He that is content.
Who is that?

~ Benjamin Franklin ~


I’ve been enjoying morning time, which feels both very quiet and very productive at the same time.  Our western education doesn’t pair these things often; it is ongoingly suggested that the success is in the motion/action/DOING/*getting*somewhere, and so to my scientist mind, it is still antithetical that stillness and contemplation can be creative.

The metaphysicians speak of “demonstration” as the real world appearance of thought, intention made matter.

This transformation of idea to the material seems to be the channeling of the vital energy — call it the Holy Spirit caught on film ? — and the space of accessing the harness, getting traction, is silence and stillness.  In the Being, there is con-tract-ion, the field of the infinite be-come-ing “real” and tangible. With this stillness, we can ex-tract and clarify, purify, codify, preciously hold and (for the meditative moment) preserve… and here is the innocence –literally the un-thinking, flopping of the ego — so blissfully fluttering with the offerings of the Universe in blessed Channel-of-thy-Peace St. Francissitude (!)

Reveling in the deliciousness of the growth edge becoming the growth edge becoming the growth edge, becoming the growth edge… becoming… the growth… edge…

And who AMI to interrupt ?   Not that there is anything wrong with my attentions, I can fully accept that where I say so, IAM, and just for a moment the growth is arrested for to celebrate my ego, inside the sensory pads of me as the the Fingertips of God.  Just my little private showing of the splendiferous unfolding of the almighty (small a, as far as iam concerned, until I give in to  my own suggestion that IAM, where ego softly steps stage-left ), and I get to choose to flip the channel or pull the plug at any chapter.

“When he was accused by the chief priests and the elders, he gave no answer. Then Pilate asked him, ‘Don’t you hear the testimony they are bringing against you?’ But Jesus made no reply, not even to a single charge—to the great amazement of the governor.”
(Matthew 27:12-14, NIV)


Conversations WITH Cancer

September 3, 2016

this is the very beginning of a description, and IAM grateful to all who put eyes and constructive thought to it:

Conversations With Cancer is:

A global social media platform championing the Blank Slate, the RESET, the New Now,

The Grace of the Second Chance, the magic of Do-Over.

TRANSFORMATION, in the moment, of pre-existing ideas/ideology of what cancer is


An Education for newly diagnosed cancer patients

— a sense of comfort, relief, belonging

— leaving their oncologist’s office with a sense of serenity and hope, glass half full

— belief that they can share The News with people in their lives and enroll support

— a beginning, a new way of thinking that says “IAM about to be better than I’ve ever been!”

An Ongoing Growth and Development platform and community for HEALED cancer patients

Social Change Agent, a respected GO-TO voice for a perspective of TRANSFORMATION

A centerpiece for the Healing Communities, a playground to develop NEW LANGUAGE,

Languaging “What It Means to Be WELL”

An Education for practitioners

— clear objective footed results for traditional scientists and providers

— new accessible language for alternative practitioners

— clear objective footed results for alternative practitioners

— new accessible language for traditional scientists and providers

— brainstorm barnstorm for everybody who has ever made a promise to themselves to be a healer

— a reminder to jaded/disillusioned therapists/healers who deserve a new injection of purpose

— a massive community of trained experienced SAFE-SPACE practitioners, LISTENERS who actually do not know what is about to come out of the person with whom they are engaged

A Public Service Announcement

— a massive presence in the social mindset, the GO-TO place for cancer.  It is known that when people undertake the journey of cancer healing, they’re taking on a gift from the planet and doing a service to all of HumanKind.  Nobody asks for or seeks out cancer, but all who are found by it are left joining a fraternity and fellowship that could never have been imagined without the ride.

The phrase “I won the lottery and fell in love with my cancer” is the cornerstone for myriad social-change agencies and artistic platforms expressing self.
PLAY with me here …  (and what else do you think/say/declare it should be ? 🙂

CWC is an inquiry and a knowing that Discovery is simply a stepping stone to next discovery

CWC is a playground, a DisneyWorld, an amusement park for surprising and shocking news

CWC is a treasure hunt, and a field of reward

CWC is a place to fill your batteries

CWC is an art colony, an IMPROV STAGE, a carte blanche for the suppressed soul

CWC is a fresh breath of inspiration and commitment, a personal spark plug

CWC is a place where people find their VOICE, and where they find listening hearts

CWC is a merging of the senses, and an evolution of the known, new sense and new grace


CWC is a place where people discover TRUE CHOICE, and where choices are honored

CWC is a global megaphone

CWC is a diary, a safe space to write and find, and share if so chosen

CWC is the legacy of Human Being
Cancer is…

Fifty ways to Love your Leaver

November 25, 2014

I’m grateful for:
1) Things in my life that say goodbye, and willingness to be flexible enough to let them go.
2) Exercise Tolerance: lifting a little more today than I might, and releasing the old me.
3) Warm java, and the wave of YUM that washes out the craving hungry thirsty wanting.
4) My parents, and the parental urge in me that wants them to grow beyond amazing.
5) The pillow I laid down with last night, and the urge to move to another.
6) Melancholy, and the strength to be ok with it, with eyes open for the Next Me.
7) Tummy cramps, hiccups, and gastro-gas eruptions, and pleasuring myself with release.
8) Dimes and quarters I find on the floor, and the urge to give it all away as BONU$.
9) Sleepy eyes and tired back from a full-week’s day, and that first glimpse of dream.
10) Farting. Ahhhh…
11) LAUGHING at (my) farting, and letting myself realize others’ joys in their own.
12) Letting go of what people reading this might think of 10) and 11), and laughing again.
13) The seed of life, and all the ways we pollinate and inspire to new life.
14) Trajectories — the path of thrown balls, launched satellites, planes and idea…
15) Exhale. And the silence for just a moment before the breath.
16) My girlfriends: K, T, A, S, L, G, V, M, J, H, D, M, C, A, R, G, S, T, M*
17) My son and everyday he spends away filling the vortex of my ability to accept.
18) My grandparents: their work, their travel, passion, fun, humanity, community, healing
19) all the dollars I’ve offered to empower my needs and desires –cashFLOW!
20) all the previous cellphones and computers leading to these sleek integrated devices
21) the tick-ticks and calendar-flippings, everytime I was late, and all the right-on-time$
22) numbers before 22, making 22 possible
23) babbling and scribbling, wordplay and dreamhaze, amorphous creative urge
24) Monte and the VW BUS and Volvo and Camry and Nova and FOCUS, and great tires and treads
25) shoveling snow, clearing path, scrubbing sidewalk algae and table leaf mold, knowing new
26) strong feet and a love of walking, steps that lead to steps, footed because.
27) 7:11, 7/11, 7-11, seven-eleven, s’heaven eh? Leaven… coffee cups and strong lids
28) my gigs: frycook, waiter, DJ, counselor, Doc, teacher, empowerment guy, speaker, writer
29) passion in the moment of composition, and short memory, in the moment of next
30) meditation, my third eye, and the still small voice of gut instinct
31) compelling drive to share and show and elevate and $OAR
32) Storm clouds, shifting $kye$, rainbows and gusty fronts, and clear blue backsides
33) big windshields on winding mountain roads, and rear-view dust grateful for the nudge
34) sweet girl riding’ shotgun, reflections with the road, miles’ wisdoms, being newly-arrived
35) the chill that kicks on the heater, and the roar of fans confirming coming heat
36) cows and chickens and pigs and critters that give their lives so that I may nosh
37) anela and neeper and patient four-leggeds, demonstrating submissive interdependence
38) good grades, bad grades, diplomas and degrees and boxing up the frames to get free
39) knowing independence, and then knowing the ease and joy and reward of collaboration
40) hitting bottom to let go of the bottle so to access “Humanity as Organism Thrives”
41) The Law of Attraction, and arousing dormant beliefs to see them RAGE, to watch them wither
42) My travel bug, inner fire, open eyes, curious heart, driven detective, satisfied consumer
43) love of games, athletic drive, competetive edge, winning and honoring my competition
44) tears and fears and goosebumps and speed bumps and hip bumps and quick humps
45) sewers & flushes & transits & conveyances, of people & freight & food & shit, & clean bowl
46) olives, avo, plant and fish oil, and the wafting mist of arterial plaque they carry away
47) my fingertips, persistently printed, always sloughing skin and poking into something new
48) parliamentary chaos and congressional chatter, and the gorgeous silence in recess
49) crucifixions and resurrections, and the power of “get up one time more than you fall”
50) Engagement, release, magnetic attraction, distance, remembering connection = WE is GOD.

meaning of life? Shrug.

September 17, 2014

My brain and so many others seem to pursue meaning. On my mind this morning:
“What is the meaning of Life?”
Silly pursuit you say? Frivolous even ? (Frivolous?! Only because the voices of those who walked before, unsuccessful, flock at the chance to nay-say like gulls around a newfound stray bread-slab on the boardwalk.) The bored walk is LIFE ? Maybe.

The question –which appears to be the stimulus, the respite from boredom, the spark of curiosity and thus adventure and the promise of cheese at the end of the tunnel — seems to be in the driver’s seat.
Yet when we answer the question, you’d think there would be a celebration of some kind. I mean , we’ve found the meaning of life, after all. Where is the key to the Garden of Eden? Where is the free pass for the wormhole to the BigBang? No, there doesn’t seem to be consensus for applause upon enlightenment. Meaning is simply meaning, and most of us listen to each other with a blip of curiosity and then a “nice for you” nod, muttering under our breath “ok, let’s get on with it now”. Secrets of the Universe revealed. No biggie. Where’s mine?

It isn’t usually a comprehensive and certainly not long-standing answer, but for the moment, it banishes the question. And as long as the question mark is receding in the rear-view (or better yet, flailing on the ground having been vanquished by our declaration, discovery, and exclamation point), we breathe in apparent ease. As do all around… for just a micron of time.
No, the answer to the “what is the meaning…” rings empty and at best, promising. And there is emptiness greater. In the coming-clear of the answer, for the sweetest little moment, there is “ahhh”, and then we can usually feel the Universe shrugging with a “cute work, kid… “. So ?

But what if this is the booby prize.
What if we actually found the answer,
and “the meaning of life” was clear?
Would the “meaning” actually invest vitality?
What then would we do about … actually… LIFE-ing ?!?

Live in the question today:
“What is LIFE?”
and I welcome your fellowship in our open eyes, taking it in,
and choosing actively from what we see
what answers the question and what does not.

And let’s walk knowingly toward those things that qualify.

April 9, 2014

This is an easy fun Mirror Meditation

The Ultimate BE*WITH*ME  experience

Goal:  to experience oneself as an observer


Set a timer:  choose something between five and ten minutes.  Setting a timer allows full focus on the exercise without having to attend to the timeclock.

Sit or stand comfortably, in front of a mirror:  mirror can be full-length or face/head only.  Please use a mirror big enough to at least allow visualizing your entire face and neck.

Make eye contact with yourself.  After making initial contact and holding your gaze and attention, let your eyes wander to other parts of your body if you feel called to do so, and return your gaze and attention to your own eyes as soon as comfortable.  Release any thoughts that come, and notice and release any judgements, comparisons, etc.

Breathing easily, let your shoulders fall away from your ears, torso and neck relaxed, and let the facial muscles relax, let the mouth relax, and find a place of comfortable stillness as much as possible.  When feeling calm and centered, attempt to “BE” the image in the mirror, watching your “real” self from behind the glass.

Physically try to imagine yourself “inside” the body of the reflection.  

Let the reflected image of you be a compassionate watchman or watchwoman.  Notice physical feelings and emotional feelings.

Let go of thoughts with the same ease that they appear.

After the timer goes off, thank yourself from both directions (image thanks the “real” you, and you thank the “illusion”).  And then

make written notes of your experience: These notes, journal entries, blog entries etc are for your personal exploration; please do not feel that you need to share anything at all.  If you feel moved to share with people in your life or other people in the project, please feel at liberty to do that as well.


note:   This exercise is not yet named!  If you have an idea for a catchy fun powerful user-friendly name, please share it with us.  Also, this exercise is phase one of an initiative called Conversations With Cancer.  We will be developing a larger context and language for that outreach and others, and would love input about the state of any Well Being issues where you might experience a shift, as well as any thoughts about who might benefit from experiencing this work.


i can see !

April 3, 2014

“Oh Lord make me a channel of thy peace!”

So speaketh St. Francis.

I always envision him with birds and flowers and gorgeous abundant nature around him, and I wonder if God is laughing in response, saying “oh brother, open your eyes and look what I’ve provided you; you are the ultimate infinite channel!”

My eyes get more and more open every day I choose to connect deeper with the humanity around me, each time I choose curiosity and courage, and each time I give myself permission to let other people empower me to figure it out *in*community* rather than going it alone.  Self-sufficiency keeps me in the problem; stepping forward into communication — even if I haven’t fully solved the situation myself!– is growing in the solution.

I’m committed to not impairing myself today.  WHEN I’m successful in not impairing myself — when I can stay out of my way and limit the way my thinking brain pays attention to things — I have a greater and greater chance of letting the abundances around me find my eyes !

What a beautiful enlightenment it is to realize that everything we’ve been petitioning for was — and IS !– right here all along.

The Universe of LoVe and evolution of being  is PAID in full ~~  Prayers Answered Immediately, DONE!


mirror rorrim (mirror ROAR IAM ? :)

March 26, 2014

just a quick thought this morning,
as I was checkin’ myself out (yah, you know it really just ain’t that hideous anymore, getting better and better each moment 🙂

I remember hearing somebody say that we get better and we can see ourselves in the mirror– our real selves — and then there is the beginning of acceptance, self love, true caring.  And then I start treating myself preciously.

Then we get to walk around on the planet and let other people treat us that way too. If the people in your life are treating you like the guy or girl in the mirror treats you — if they care and love you and surrender to you — they’re keepers!

And when I notice that they’re not treating me that way…
well my number one job is to get myself back to the mirror, tell myself the truth about who I am and who I desire and deserve, and THEN go back out there and let the Universe bring those loving people to me.

And then I just get to sit back and laugh and have fun all day!

Put something really great and natural and nourishing in your body right now. Then…

Get to the mirror right now and tell yourself how amazing you are.

PEace, Tom

What do the winners eat ?

March 25, 2014

We are what we eat.

I do a lot of nutritional counseling, and the foundation of the ideologies I work with is that our bodies are an expression of the environments we offer them.  Surround and nourish with good food and high-quality nutrients,  and you’ll thrive as a high-quality BEING.

The same is true of our minds and hearts.  Stick with the Winners!  As I’ve gotten happier and happier every year of my sobriety, my sense of self improves, and my instincts sharpen; I feel drawn more and more to men and women who are THRIVING, living a life they love, grateful for The Promises coming true in their lives as a result of the work they do in pay-it-forward empowerment work.

I want to be around people who give it away, because a) they rock !  and b)  their energy feels great, and c)  I want to learn more and more profound ways to share the parts of my life that I love. Being surrounded by and nourished by people who do this is one of the fast-track powerful ways to become what I admire!

I don’t know… yet.

January 10, 2014

I’m scared to write anything down because I’m the scientist and I’m supposed to have it all figured out before I “go public”, right ?

One of the messages I’m committed to exploring– IN communication, IN community, and IN communion and collegueship–  is that we figure it out as we go, and that one of the most important and healing things we can say is “I don’t know.”

I believe that healing happens in dialogue.  Real dialogue only happens where there is curiosity.  When I’m curious, truly willing to hear what you have to say, I listen.  When I’m present with you, listening deeply, then whatever I might “know” or say might be a contribution to us both.  In contribution, there is evolution.  

In evolution, there is a mandatory de facto healing.  The past is gone and the moment is alive.

I had not idea I was going to write that last sentence when I wrote the first.  

I don’t know what happens next.  And I’m excited to share with you that I feel the freedom to explore it with you.

we lack will power ?

December 30, 2013

What if our body had all the energy and resources necessary to carry out every desire of the brain.   Do we lack will power ?  Is Human Being essentially lazy ?   It doesn’t seem so, as our minds keep coming up with ideas for change, resolutions for new ways of being, commitments to the future new-better-stronger US.  Our minds continue to work; this is not the mindset of a lazy creature, but that of a creature of evolution, looking for the what’s next.  So lack of Will Power does not seem to be our dilemma.   

Once we’ve made the decision, do we keep to what we say?  

Do we maintain the new diet we say we want?  Do we keep to the fitness regimen we’ve chosen to embark upon?  Do we hold to the resolve to see or not see that person in our life with whom we have a a push-pull relationship?  Does our mind-body-spirit entity actually carry out what the brain says is the choice?  Will Power is certainly there, else we’d have not made the choice in the first place;  STAY POWER is missing.  

WHat if we had the metabolic efficiency, the physical structural integrity –at the cell level, sufficient for the body to carry out the request of the mind?